14th April 2016

Dear Allah, 

I cant take this anymore... I dont want to end like Waqas. Help me please!!!

SriLanka starting 8 September 2015

This blog is going to still be a soul dump pit... With an additional twist... Travel blog... SriLanka SriLanka

Quetta

You listen to awaz after 18 years and all u can think of is staff college, quetta... I dont know whats happening but its like as if quetta is calling me... Meeting x, the constant memory of murdar, spin karaiz, hanna, uruk, jinnah road, iqra, chiltan, i think i have to go to quetta

I cried

Today i cried.... I cried like i cried twenty years back... With my heart ripping... With my mind numbing... I cried.... And my pillow was x.... I cried....."there is not enough vodka in the world to blur the edges".... What a beautiful bastard

Help help help !!!!

Ok now i seriously seriously think i need help... I am showing all the signs of burnout.... To an extent that now 24/7 i am physically feeling sick... I am exhusted... And i think i am also immensly depressed... Also on top of that my obsessiveness is kicking in majorly... Not gooood... First docy and now X, not goood... What worries me is the fact that i now know almost everything in and out about both of them.... And the problem also is that i know there is no future... And its not even about sex anymore... And thats worrisome... I have really enjoyed making out and cuddling with both.... I have actually enjoyed the physical intimacy and the fact that we had a conversations... The damn fucking... Moments of nothingness...i thought they didnt exist... Damn damn damn... My boss is a pompous incompitent nincompoop...and i do not do not want to leave my country for three months...i think i need help

Me

I refuse to give up... I am flawed... I am immature... I am young... I lack experience... I am nothing... Yet i refuse to give up... 

Some laws

The Great Law

• “As you sow, so shall you reap.” This is also known as the “Law of Cause and Effect.”
• If what we want is happiness, peace, love, and friendship, then we should BE happy, peaceful, loving and a true friend.
• Whatever we put out in the Universe is what comes back to us.

2. The Law of Creation

• Life doesn’t just happen. It requires our participation.
• We are one with the Universe, both inside and out.
• Whatever surrounds us gives us clues to our inner state.
• Be yourself, and surround yourself with what you want to have in your life.

3. The Law of Humility

• You can’t change something if you refuse to accept it.
• If what we see is an enemy, or someone with a character trait that we find to benegative, then we ourselves are not focused on a higher level of existence.

4. The Law of Growth

• “Wherever you go, there you are.”
• For us to grow in Spirit, it is we who must change, and not the people, places or things around us.
• The only given we have in our lives is ourselves, and that is the only factor we have control over.
• When we change who and what we are within our hearts, our lives follow suit and change too.

5. The Law of Responsibility

• Whenever there is something wrong in my life, there is something wrong in me.
• We mirror what surrounds us, and what surrounds us mirrors us; this is a Universal Truth.
• We must take responsibility for what is in our life.

6. The Law of Connection

• Even if something we do seems inconsequential, it is very important that it gets done as everything in the Universe is connected.
• Each step leads to the next step, and so forth and so on.
• Someone must do the initial work to get a job done.
• Neither the first step nor the last are of greater significance, as they were both needed to accomplish the task.
• Past, Present and Future are all connected.

7. The Law of Focus

• You cannot think of two things at the same time.
• Because of this, when our focus is on Spiritual Values, it is impossible for us to have lower thoughts such as greed or anger.

8. The Law of Giving and Hospitality

• If you believe something to be true, then sometime in your life you will be called upon to demonstrate that particular truth.
• Here is where we put what we CLAIM that we have learned into actual PRACTICE.

9. The Law of Here and Now

• Looking backward to examine what was or forward to worry about the future prevents us from being totally in the here and now.
• Old thoughts, old patterns of behavior, and old dreams prevent us from having new ones.

10. The Law of Change

• History repeats itself until we learn the lessons that we need to change our path.

11. The Law of Patience and Reward

• All rewards require initial toil.
• Rewards of lasting value require patient and persistent toil.
• True joy comes from doing what we’re suppose to be doing, and knowing that the reward will come in its own time.

12. The Law of Significance and Inspiration

• You get back from something whatever you have put into it.
• The true value of something is a direct result of the energy and intent that is put into it.
• Every personal contribution is also a contribution to the Whole.
• Lackluster contributions have no impact on the Whole, nor do they work to diminish it.
• Loving contributions bring life to, and inspire, the Whole.