i cant take it any more......

what more

Its been ages since i wrote something... anything... suprisingly when i google my self this is what comes up... my blog.. anyway just felt like coming here and writing... this is becoming my secret cave... a place where i come sit, smile, cry and then go back to the realities of life...
anyway have fallen again for some one with whom things would just not work out... 2010 was the worst year ever... i know i am being ungreatful and all but honest... this is the year i found out that side of me which i had suppressed for all my life...i am not exactly that great a person that i thought i was.... i like to smoke... and i smoked... god knows i smoked and smoked and smoked... and i enjoyed it... hell i enjoyed forgetting every single shred of conclusive thought that existed in my pea sized brain... i see possibilities becoming impossibilities... the worst is probably the fact that when you realized that all what you hoped for was actually an un relaistic pile of bull crap. life is not what we were led to belive it would be... if technically i see my self i m living the dream... all who look at me envy me... some say it on my face some say it with eyes... some plainly bitch behind my back... great education, an acceptable job, only kid of an extemly powerful man and an extemly loving woman... not exactly an ogre... well read, confident, well travelled, what else is there...BUT THAT IS NOT ENOUGH... i am being greedy and selfish and thankless and big headed... but you know what i giving flying fuck... i want more out of life... but now the question is what more??!?!? what exactly more

Lunatic Ramblings